Saturday, January 1, 2011

Face Your Fears

I dreamed I was in an elevator somewhere in a building on the UT campus. The elevator was on the outside of the building and made of glass. The elevator was rising slowly and I could see below me and my surroundings. Someone was standing quietly behind me. I didn't look back but I got a sense of who it was. I just stared towards the ground. I wasn't sure how high the building was but it kept rising.. faster and faster. I could see people's faces looking up at me from the ground start to blur. Fear started to sink in at the thought of the elevator breaking and falling towards the ground. That sinking feeling in my stomach took over. And at that point, I realized I was dreaming. I convinced myself that nothing was going to go wrong. These things are built to be strong. I concentrated on the elevator and just being. And I took control of gravity and the elevator. It slowed down and stopped somewhere up high. That's all I remember.



To dream that you are ascending in an elevator, represents a rise to status and wealth. You may have risen to a higher level of consciousness and are looking at the world from an elevated viewpoint. If the elevator is moving upward in an out of control fashion or it crashes through the roof, then it indicates that you are being catapulted to a position of power in which you do not yet know how to deal with. You are afraid of the new responsibilities ahead for you.
In general, the up and down action of the elevator represents the ups and downs of your life. It also symbolizes emotions and thoughts that are emerging out of and submerging into your subconscious.

To dream that you are at a great height, signifies that you have reached one of your highest goals or objectives.
To dream that you are afraid of heights, denotes that you are striving for goals that seem beyond your reach.

To see glass in your dream, symbolizes passivity or protection. You may be putting up an invisible barrier to protect yourself in a situation or relationship.
To dream that you are looking through glass, represents your openness and non-defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be putting up an invisible emotional barrier around yourself.

Falling Dreams
Lucid Dreams

I find it incredible that I remembered a dream the first day of 2011. And a dream at the brink of being lucid, nonetheless. The dream took place on the UT campus. My sister and brother-in-law went there, my ex goes there, and a few friends I know go there. It's a strong symbol to me but not significant to the overall meaning of the dream. I was so scared of something going wrong with the elevator. I've had dreams of falling and other borderline lucid dreams where I came to realize I was dreaming and could control some things.

"I stared over the edge, seeing the street below. My legs felt like jello. That weak legged feeling you get when you're up high. I realized I was dreaming. Then I challenged myself. What if I tried to overcome my fear and just jump off of this building? Question this 'reality' and surrender to gravity and imminent death. I geared myself up to do it. Looking down, still with the jello legs, I jumped."

I fell asleep last night alone on New Years, reflecting on things I shouldn't have. And a dumb fear set in about being alone forever. Alcohol and loneliness don't mix. And I feel that the dream was trying to tell me that things can get out of control and come crashing back to earth.. but you always have a choice. I choose to fight to make 2011 the best yet. 2010 began and ended with an emptiness in my heart but for the most part I am extremely grateful to grow and move on from everything and persevere. The glass elevator symbolizes my invisible fortress surrounding my feelings and most intimate thoughts. Last night I also realized more of my weaknesses but also my strength in certain situations and my potential to be a leader. Now it's time to take control like I did in the elevator and face my fears. Man up to my old man to piece this family back together, learn to be content with God's love only, defy generational curses, and realize that I'm not bound to who I was.

♫ I'm falling down
I can't wake up
I cannot hold on
I will not let go ♫

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